My Little Kitchen Helper

I just love moments like these…

After a morning at that park, Rosy and I came home for lunch and I decided to whip up a batch of rice krispies/cheerios squares for a Friday lunch treat. I gave my little kitchen helper the batter bowl and this is what happened…

Amazement
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Curiosity
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Discovery
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Pure Enjoyment
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Mommy Intervention
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Give Support Not Advice

As a new parent I’ve often turn to others who have been there to discuss what I’m going through whether it be good or bad. There are times when I’m offered advice that overwhelms me and may be ideal however does not apply to my baby and I. This often leads to added frustrations as the advice feels like judgement and the advisor feels disrespected as if they’re not being listened to.

In reading many mommy blogs I read a few wise words written by blogger of The Fussy Baby Site and associate Huffington Post writer, Holly Klaassen.

“Give support not advice”

When I first read these words, I thought but of course that’s what I do and that’s what I need. However when I started paying attention to my daily interactions I realized that I was often offered advice and was guilty of doing the same to others.

I think it’s natural for one to give advice based on your own experiences however if the advice is not catered to the recipient’s need then it often becomes unwanted.

As I go about my day, I often find this simple statement repeating in my mind.

“Give support not advice”

I believe there is power in this statement. We could only do good if we could recognize when someone was in need of support whether emotional or physical.

I know it’s something that’s not easy to do and I know I have to consciously work on and think about to achieve.

Here’s a few little reminders that I go through to try to give support and not advice.

1. Remember the definition of support and advice:
Support is to provide assistance.
Advice is to provide guidance or recommendations.

2. Think before I speak and ask myself if i’m about to give support or advice.

3. Don’t ask “what can I do” or “how can I help”. Instead tell them how I would like to help and let them decide if they want my assistance. Someone who needs support might be overwhelmed and may be unsure of their need or they may be too proud to ask.

4. Don’t be offended and take it personally if the person doesn’t want the assistance. Remember, it’s not about me as I’m trying to offer support.